Monday, July 19, 2010

QUICKIE LETTER

hi guys! sorry for not replying to your comments yet. ):
i will! don't you worry. (:

can you believe it's been a whole week since my last post? it's like... wow... what have i been up to this week:

- working @ hut of hell
- practicing guitar [well... not really. i've been procrastinating...]
- watching movies [remember, i have a whole list of them to finish watching! examples: 'boy in the striped pajamas', 'pulp fiction', 'billy elliot', 'heathers', 'being john malkovich', 'synecdoche, new york' and a whole bunch others]
- helping out with my dad's business [he rented a space in the Chilliwack mall, this tiny little building with about 15 shops and a food court with 2 places to eat; so guess who gets to sit in for him on days when he has errands to run? :/ it's a little tiring b/c we have to wake up at 8am and get going early, since Chilliwack is pretty far from where we live. and i have to stay at the mall until around dinnertime. sigh. i learned from last time: BRING A BOOK.]
- coping with my mother being back home [she flew back from China, and... well, she started yelling and screaming at my grandfather this morning... it really hurt me. my grandfather is a good person. both my grandparents are. they (my dad's parents) are so strong and powerful, even in the worst of times. it's just that... sometimes my mother can be completely inconsiderate of others, and she can make a bad situation worse... i think the house was more peaceful and normal with her gone.]

lately i feel a little detached from the world socially. i've got a lot to think about for the upcoming school year. i mean... SENIOR YEAR. it's big, it's huge, it's going to be tough. i need to rethink my friendships with a few people, how i present myself to others, and basically... i need to b e t t e r myself.

every year, i think:
- i'm going to be prettier
- i'm going to be smarter
- i'm going to be funnier
- i'm going to be accepted
- boys will like me more
- girls will like me more
- teachers will like me more
- i'm going to fall in love
- i'm going to grow taller
- i'm going to look my age [never happens. people still think i'm in elementary. hah. hah. not funny]
- i'm going to be less moody
- i'm going to be less angry and manipulating
- i'm going to find a best friend that won't backstab me/make me feel bad
- my family is going to be less dysfunctional
- my mother's depression will be cured
- my dad is going to get a real job
- so that the accumulating debt will be paid off
- so i can finally s l e e p at night

of course that doesn't happen.
but i'm working on it.
i'm thinking, by graduation, at least one of these things will be achieved.

good night, lovelies! need to sleep so i can wake up @ 8!
also, yes yes yes i will reply to all your amazing comments
because guess what?
i love you.

x

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